![]() I don’t want my son set up for a life where he can only do what his partner/spouse asks if they psychologically manipulate him to do so. These tactics may work, but would be seen as incredibly manipulative behavior if all parties were adults. I’ve read that dealing with children with PDA requires coming up with ways to trick the child into believing that they’re the ones deciding to do something. Even if it’s something that he wants to do.Īnd referring to the ‘mind games’, I was referring to tactics that I’ve read about, but didn’t elaborate on in my post, so apologies. If it’s coming from us, he either doesn’t hear/acknowledge it at all or has an extreme fight/flight response. There is an extreme panic response to requests and demands. It involves more than the average difficulty in following through with tasks that I recognize comes along with ADHD. PDA is considered not a symptom of ADHD, but a comorbid condition - specifically, a ‘subtype’ of autism basically it’s it’s own thing separate from ADHD but which often goes hand in hand. I appreciate the thoughtful response, however I think maybe I wasn’t clear about what ‘demand avoidance’ is like for us, or what it sounds like clinical PDA is like in general. I work with kids with autism as well and having a buy-in helps so much to get them to do what they would prefer to not do, because they also see how they benefit in the end for doing the less preferable thing. It's not mindgames, it's improving communication. ![]() If my kid wants ice cream but hasn't eaten her dinner, I tell her "I'll give you your ice cream after you eat four more big bites of your favorite part of dinner." - That goes a longer way than simply saying "No, it's not time for ice cream yet, eat your food." It helps if there is a "buy-in", or a good reason to do things. If I am asked or demanded of in a rude way, I will tend to argue or be shitty about it. Our little family (two parents and a young child) have ADHD, and we can all personally relate to being told to do things really sucks.įor me, I just need to be asked politely with a please. I would say that "playing mind games to get them to do something" is maybe not the best way to consider it. How are other parents dealing with demand avoidance? Her parents kind of let her get away with not doing whatever she didn’t want to do, and it was not a positive result. And she is not very independent, responsible, or emotionally capable of healthy relationships. The idea of sending him into the world, into interpersonal relationships, into all the harmful temptations of the adult world, with that mindset - that sounds like a recipe for destruction.įrankly, although the ADHD definitely comes from his father’s side, if PDA is a thing, I think my own mother also has it, it would answer a lot. My son needs to be functional and independent some day. It’s been helpful to do research and learn more about demand avoidance, but I can’t help but feel like the treatment is ‘let them do whatever they want and play mind games with them to try to convince them to do things they absolutely need to but don’t want to”. We’re waiting on an appointment to discuss with an ASD specialist. ![]() Once our son started taking Ritalin, the hyperactivity decreased but left behind underlying symptoms that very much align with PDA. Anyone else familiar with/have a child diagnosed with PDA (pathological demand avoidance)? It seems like it’s not really recognized here in the states but is in the UK.
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